Charlene: Breaking Hearts:Seen and Unseen Realities

Last year, when we were running the kids camp there was a particular little girl that captured my heart and attention. So many of the kids were in need of love and attention but when she wasn't there I found myself looking for her and wondering if she was okay. When she was there she would bound over to me and hug me and sit with me and hold my hand and try to communicate even though neither of us spoke the same language. On the last day together I had Kim Bui translate to explain to her that we came to this place because God knew her and he loved her. I told her that I loved her too, and if I came back to Cambodia I would look for her. She nodded her head with wide eyes, finally fully understanding in her vietnamese language. When she responded she told Kim that when I came back looking for her she would be looking for me too. We embraced and cried and said good bye. Each time we left on the bus the kids would swarm us, but that day it was by far the hardest. They were banging on the windows and waving. I saw her at the window and she was knocking trying to get my attention. We opened the window and she passed something to Hiroko to give to me. When I looked in her hand I saw a little tin heart ring and was so touched that she wanted me to have what might be one of her prized possessions. It is one of the best gifts of my life.

So, you are not surprised that I have been anticipating finding her! I dreamt in my mind's eye seeing her and having her run into my arms. I planned to put a little gold ring on her finger that has a dainty little heart on it and tell her that I didn't forget her and that I came back looking for her...

Yesterday we went back to that place and when we drove up and saw some children I searched through the crowd, seeing children that I recognized but not her... I asked some kids, "Have you seen her?" but they didn't know her name anymore.

It was time for the team to prayer walk with the pastor and our friend Ratanak (who is the youth pastor) and as I followed Ratanak he pointed out buildings that are being sold and are potential brothels. He pointed out the karaoke bar and little houses where the people are trying to carve out a life. It was difficult to focus on praying as what I was seeing was unbelievable struggles. We prayed that this seen reality would be flipped to God's unseen reality. Brothels would be turned to schools... Houses of disrepute would become places where God's word would be studied. Rahab's House is a testament to this~ brothel turned to church / comunity centre.

As sad as I was, when I looked into Ratanak's eyes I thought this young man views this everyday! God please give him your eyes to see what you see. You have given him your heart so please protect him to do what you have called him! He is very passionate for the children and their families and I know that he is being used mightily.

I remembered when we got back that I still had a few pictures on my camera from last year. I pulled up the one of my little girl sitting with me, and Ratanak showed it to the pastor. They agreed that she had been gone for a few months and remembered that her mother had sold her to another province. They both got a sad look in their eyes and handed me back my camera. This is not a new reality for either of them. What? How can this be....

I know the statistics, and I know that this is a reality for so many children here in Cambodia. I have heard the stories and been broken seeing young lives trying to be restored after such violation. But oh how my heart aches and is breaking right now! I can barely think through my tears of what this past night has meant for her. Where is she? Who is hurting her right now? Will she ever know that I came back to see her? Will she ever know that I have been praying for her every week for this past year? Will she ever know that she touched my heart with hers??

I know this is a glimpse of what God feels for each one. I hold onto the knowledge that HE knows everything about her. He knows where she is and loves her more than I ever could. My prayers will be fuel for the unseen reality of her rescue and restoration.

Will you pray for her right now? Lord, please be with "L" right now. Lord, protect her and give her comfort in her isolation and need. Lord hide her in the cleft of the Rock that she might find you Jesus. Somehow let her know that I love her and will always look for her. Lord bind up my heart so I can endure and do what you have for me here.