Next morning - Ok I have to be blunt.
After almost 20 years God continues to answer my prayer to keep my heart soft no mater what I see in Cambodia. I am a bit of a mess. This stuff is overwhelming. Yesterdays post indicated the confusion re affection of the kid out at Svay Pak. I received an email from Lisa which contained this...
"I remember Pastor Chantha saying to us the kids know who are the safe people...anyone who comes to Rahab's house they will hug and play with either male or female...but if the adult males don't come to Rahab' house and are just in Svay Pak, the kids scatter."
This line somehow gave me permission to retroactively accept the affection of the kids from yesterday. I am an emotional mess this morning. The way I feel about this right now causes me to worry about just how much of this I can take. I fear going out to Svay Pak again. I fear going to meet girls in another program who I have prayed for for for 5 years but never met.
I bring a team of new people out here for training and me the "experienced one" feels, once again, totally broken by this stuff. I know loving these kids is a gift but sometimes it is a gift that just seems too heavy. Pray that I would simply be able to see as Christ sees but hold it together.
Brian.
I know that I’ve said much the same thing elsewhere but here I go again. . . .
ReplyDeleteKeep in mind that somewhere God has a quarry and at the quarry he is hewing out millstones. And God has a sea. And God has a plan – “But whoso shall cause one of these little ones that believe on me to stumble, it is profitable for him that a great millstone should be hanged about his neck, and that he should be sunk in the depth of the sea.” Matthew 18:6 ASV. I’m holding on to this one for the sake of SN in particular.
As well, part of Paul’s gospel message in Romans is that “the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men” Romans 1:18 ASV. Months ago it dawned on me that that part of Paul’s message is good news for children like SN and all the children of Svay Pak.
May those who would harm the children in Svay Pak be like Pharaoh and the frogs. May they find the wrath of God everywhere they turn – in their houses, in their beds, in their ovens and in their kneading troughs. May they find the wrath of God when they stand up and when they lie down, when they eat and when they sleep, when they travel and when they stop for rest. May they never be free from the wrath of God until they turn from harming the children of Svay Pak.
And it makes for interesting prayer.
Brian, as I prayed for you and the rest of the team, this is the passage that are on our lips right now, I am confident that we can claim this when all that we see are our weaknesses, His power will shine right through it more and more.
ReplyDelete"Stand firm, let nothing move you, always give yourself fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labour in the LORD in not in vain."